I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
