the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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