Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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