Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
