is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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