In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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