I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
