youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
