Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
