pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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