I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
