dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
