Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
