So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
