Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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