you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
