we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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