I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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