I hate all girls vehemently.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
