I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
