A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
This is classic penis vs brain.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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