What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
