I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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