More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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