I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
