Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
