i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
