We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Randomize
