these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
