They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
