She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
