Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
