Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
two words: eviction party
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
