I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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