just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
