i just wanna soil my oats bro
Nicole vs. Life
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
