pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
