I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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