he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
