haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
