soooo we both peed the bed last night...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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