I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
