We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
