there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
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