Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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