Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
