I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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