lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
