I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
