yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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