so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
